Daily Joke: Wife Receives Divorce Letter from Her Husband

A man left her wife a divorce letter, and her reply was epic.

As though the divorce was something that doesn’t need a serious discussion, a husband decided to write his wife a letter before leaving her. His letter goes…

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.

Man and woman sitting on a bench. | Photo: Pexels

Man and woman sitting on a bench. | Photo: Pexels

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Man writing a letter. | Photo: Pexels

Man writing a letter. | Photo: Pexels

And came the wife’s brilliant reply that taught him a lesson…

Dear Ex-Husband,

Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.

I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.

Brown paper envelope on the table. | Photo: Pexels

Brown paper envelope on the table. | Photo: Pexels

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!

Woman writing on a paper. | Photo: Pexels

Woman writing on a paper. | Photo: Pexels

If that story made you laugh, here’s another couple one that will keep you laughing some more.

A new machine that allows a pregnant woman to share her labor pains with her man led to a tragically hilarious discovery. The man rushed his wife to the hospital as she went into labor.

Upon entering the delivery room, the doctor told the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father."

The worried husband immediately said yes. He didn’t want to see his wife suffering so much from the pain of childbirth.

Pregnant woman holding her tummy together with a man beside. | Photo: Pexels

Pregnant woman holding her tummy together with a man beside. | Photo: Pexels

The doctor hooked the machine up and put it on ten percent of pain switched from the mother to the father.

The husband didn’t feel any pain. He said, "I feel okay, turn it up a lot more."

The doctor turned it up to fifty percent. But the husband said, "Why don’t you just put it all on me because I’m not feeling a thing."

Pregnant woman starting birth at work office | Photo: Freepik

Pregnant woman starting birth at work office | Photo: Freepik

Surprised that the husband was not feeling any pain, the doctor warned, “This much could kill you if you’re not prepared."

"I am ready," the husband boldly answered.

With much hesitation, the doctor turned the machine up to one hundred percent, but the husband still didn’t feel a thing. This made the doctor think that his invention was a failure.

A doctor at the operating room. | Photo: Pexels

A doctor at the operating room. | Photo: Pexels

The couple went home, happy with pain-free labor.

But, when they arrived home, they found the mailman dead on the front porch! The wife could not look at her husband in the eye.

Share this to spread the good vibes!

Source: Bored Daddy

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