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A couple arguing | Source: Pexels
A couple arguing | Source: Pexels

I Told My Wife She Couldn’t Be a Stay-at-Home Mom, but What She Did in Response Left Me Stunned

Vanessa Seifert
Apr 18, 2024
10:15 A.M.

When my wife, Lucy, began immersing herself in countless TikTok videos, I never imagined that her newfound interest would lead to her drastically changing our lives.

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A mother cooking with her daughter | Source: Pexels

A mother cooking with her daughter | Source: Pexels

I’m Jack, and I’ve been married to my wonderful wife, Lucy, for eight years. We’ve been together for 12 years, sharing a life filled with love, challenges, and the joy of raising our two kids, an 11-year-old son and a 9-year-old daughter. Life has been a journey we've navigated as partners, each step of the way supporting one another.

A happy couple | Source: Shutterstock

A happy couple | Source: Shutterstock

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Lucy and I both work to support our family. I work about 80% of a full-time schedule, while Lucy works 50%. This arrangement has always seemed perfect because it allows one of us to always be there for the kids after school. It’s a system that has worked well and helped us balance our professional and personal lives.

A couple cooking together | Source: Pexels

A couple cooking together | Source: Pexels

However, things started to shift about a year ago when Lucy began spending a lot of time watching videos on TikTok about being a "tradwife" also known as a stay-at-home wife. These videos seemed to have sparked something in her because she started talking about how she might want to quit her job and adopt that lifestyle.

A woman looking at her phone while working on her laptop| Source: Pexels

A woman looking at her phone while working on her laptop| Source: Pexels

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I did not take it seriously, because I thought she was responsible enough not to alter our lives because of a romanticized lifestyle. I was shocked when one evening, while we were cleaning up after dinner, Lucy brought it up again.

She had that hopeful look in her eyes as she said, “Imagine coming home to a freshly cooked meal every day, and everything organized and calm. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

A couple having a discussion | Source: Pexels

A couple having a discussion | Source: Pexels

I paused, putting the dishes down, and replied, “Lucy, you know I appreciate all that you do and the idea sounds nice, but I think our current setup works great for us."

"The kids are in school all day, and we’ve managed to keep everything running smoothly without needing to change who works and who stays home,” I continued.

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A couple having a discussion | Source: Pexels

A couple having a discussion | Source: Pexels

Lucy seemed a bit disappointed but nodded, understanding where I was coming from. I added, “Plus, our kids aren’t little anymore. They’re pretty independent. And honestly, I don’t think our house needs that much upkeep to require one of us at home full-time.”

I could tell she wasn’t entirely convinced, but she let the conversation drop for the night. However, it was clear this was a topic that wasn’t going away anytime soon. Lucy never stopped suggesting to quit her job but each time I tried to kindly tell her that our current work-life balance was ideal for our family’s needs and financial security.

A couple having a discussion while having coffee | Source: Pexels

A couple having a discussion while having coffee | Source: Pexels

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I really did not understand the fuss and reason behind wanting to drastically change our lives. I also love that my kids get to grow up seeing both parents contributing to the household in various ways.

A man thinking | Source: Pexels

A man thinking | Source: Pexels

One Saturday morning, as we sat at the kitchen table with our coffee, Lucy brought it up again. “Jack, I’ve been thinking a lot about this,” she started, her tone serious. “I really believe I could make a big difference in our home’s atmosphere. It’s not just about cleaning or cooking; it’s about creating a nurturing environment for us and the kids. A calm house where you can relax after work.”

I listened, knowing this was important to her. “Lucy, I understand what you’re saying, and I love that you want to make our home even more welcoming. But aren’t we managing that already? You do so much, and I try to do my part. Why change everything?”

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A couple in the kitchen with their cat | Source: pexels

A couple in the kitchen with their cat | Source: pexels

She sighed, a little frustrated. “Because it’s not the same, Jack. Right now, everything feels rushed. We’re always trying to catch up with chores, cooking, or the kids’ activities. If I were at home full-time, I could handle those things better, making life less stressful for all of us.”

Her point was valid, but the practical side of me kicked in. “Lucy, think about the impact on our finances. And what about your career? You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. Do you really want to give that up?”

A couple speaking | Source: shutterstock

A couple speaking | Source: shutterstock

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Lucy’s face showed determination. “Yes, I’m willing to do that. I think it’s worth it for the well-being of our family.”

“Lucy, it just doesn’t make sense right now. The kids are growing up; they’ll be more independent each year. And we both enjoy our jobs, don’t we?”

A couple having a heated conversation | Source: Shutterstock

A couple having a heated conversation | Source: Shutterstock

“Yes, I love my job, but I love our family more. I want to do this for us, Jack. Can’t you see how much it means to me?” Lucy continued to emphasize.

The argument didn’t conclude with an agreement. Instead, it ended with Lucy shutting down. From that day, things between us began to change subtly.

A couple arguing | Source: Shutterstocj

A couple arguing | Source: Shutterstocj

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After another day of barely speaking to each other, Lucy decided to make her point in a way that was impossible to ignore. She stopped engaging in our relationship as a partner and stopped cooking and cleaning to show me what it would be like if she stayed home.

A couple arguing | Source: Shutterstock

A couple arguing | Source: Shutterstock

However, nothing changed. After weeks of tension and quiet dinners, I came home from work one evening, exhausted but hopeful as my birthday was just around the corner. I walked into the living room and I was greeted with a bunch of beautifully wrapped gifts laid out across our dining table. My heart lifted a bit. I thought Lucy was trying to mend things between us with a surprise.

A table full of gifts | Source: Pexels

A table full of gifts | Source: Pexels

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As I walked closer, I started inspecting the gifts. They were elegantly wrapped, each with a card attached. I picked up one but as I read the card, my confusion mounted. It wasn’t addressed to me. The note was for Lucy, filled with words of gratitude and well-wishes for the future. The last line hit me hard: "It was such a pleasure working alongside you, and I wish you all the best moving forward."

A man looking shocked while reading a note | Source: Pexels

A man looking shocked while reading a note | Source: Pexels

My hands trembled slightly as I set the card down and opened another. Again, the message was similar, clearly meant for Lucy from her colleagues. Each card unfolded more of the reality I hadn’t seen coming—Lucy had quit her job.

I was still processing this when Lucy walked in. She seemed calm, almost nonchalant, as if nothing unusual had happened. Seeing the shock on my face and the cards in my hand, she must have known what I’d discovered.

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A couple arguing | Source: Pexels

A couple arguing | Source: Pexels

“What’s this, Lucy? Why didn’t you tell me you were quitting your job?” I asked, my voice a mix of surprise and frustration.

Lucy sighed, “I told you I was serious, Jack. I thought a lot about this. It’s what I need to do—for me, for us.”

“But quitting your job without even discussing it with me? How is that supposed to help us?” I couldn’t keep the disappointment from my voice.

A woman speaking to her husband | Source: Pexels

A woman speaking to her husband | Source: Pexels

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Lucy’s response was firm, her eyes meeting mine squarely. “You wouldn’t listen, Jack. You just kept saying it didn’t make sense, but this isn’t just about sense. It’s about what I feel is right for our family. I needed to do something drastic to show you how committed I am to this change.”

“But we’re supposed to be partners, Lucy. Decisions like this affect both of us, our kids, and our future. You’ve just turned everything upside down.”

A man looking stressed while speaking to a woman | Source: Pexels

A man looking stressed while speaking to a woman | Source: Pexels

Lucy moved closer, her expression softening. “I know, and I’m sorry for surprising you like this. But sometimes, you have to force change when it feels necessary. I hope, in time, you’ll see the benefits.”

That night, we didn’t resolve anything. The presents on the table started to annoy me because they were a reminder and the reason behind the hostility in my house. But I was not willing for this to be the way we handled disagreements.

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A man sitting on the couch crying | Source: Pexels

A man sitting on the couch crying | Source: Pexels

I needed Lucy to see that we were a team and these kinds of drastic decisions could not be made without both of us agreeing and carefully planning for the future. So I started to think hard and finally came up with a perfect plan, and hoped it did not backfire.

A man thinking in front of a laptop | Source: Pexels

A man thinking in front of a laptop | Source: Pexels

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The day I decided to execute my plan, I was nervous but I thought of the bigger picture. I came home from work and as I stepped inside, I announced, "Pack up, everyone. We’re moving." Lucy, who was setting the table for dinner, froze her fork halfway to the tablecloth. The kids looked up, confusion spreading across their faces.

A  man walking up stairs | Source: pexels

A man walking up stairs | Source: pexels

"What are you talking about, Jack?" Lucy asked. Her voice was a mix of surprise and concern.

I held up a stack of papers I had prepared earlier. "I sold the house. We’re moving to a small village. If you want to be a tradwife, let’s go all the way. It’s more traditional there, and I can work remotely. It’ll be the perfect setup for what you want."

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A woman setting the table | Source: Pexels

A woman setting the table | Source: Pexels

The room went silent for a moment before Lucy's astonishment turned into anger. "You sold our home without asking me? Without even a discussion?"

A woman shocked while looking at papers | Source: Pexels

A woman shocked while looking at papers | Source: Pexels

I tried to keep my composure, even though my heart was racing. "Yes, I did. You’ll get over it." Lucy’s face reddened, her eyes blazing. "Get over it? Just like that? Do you think you can make such huge decisions alone?"

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The kids started to sense the tension and quietly left the room to give us space. Seeing her reaction, I knew I had made my point, but perhaps too forcefully. I sighed and lowered the papers, showing her the top sheet more clearly. "Look at them, Lucy."

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

She snatched the papers from my hand and quickly skimmed them. Her anger turned to confusion and then relief as she realized what was happening. "This... this is a joke? You didn’t sell the house?"

I shook my head. "No, I didn’t sell our house. These are fake. I wanted to show you how it feels when someone makes a big life decision without your input. I’m sorry for scaring you, but I needed you to understand."

A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels

A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels

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Lucy put the papers down, took a deep breath, and sat down. "That was cruel, Jack, but I get your point. I shouldn’t have made such a big decision about quitting my job without discussing it with you thoroughly."

We sat down at the kitchen table and remained silent for a few minutes. Then I looked up and said, "Let’s really talk this through. No more games or drastic actions. We need to make decisions together, as partners."

A couple sharing an intimate moment | Source: Pexels

A couple sharing an intimate moment | Source: Pexels

Lucy nodded, her hand reaching across the table to squeeze mine. "Agreed. Let’s figure this out, together."

While this husband did not want his wife to quit her job, this man wanted his pregnant wife to work long hours. Click here to read how the story unfolded.

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Husband Makes Pregnant Wife Work 40+ Hours & Manage All House Chores — Family Finds Out on Thanksgiving Day

In November 2021, an anonymous female poster shared a poignant narrative in Reddit's "AITA" forum. The woman, aged 24, recounted a story about her sister, 32, and her husband, 38, who was the epitome of weaponized incompetence.

Despite juggling a full-time job of over 40 hours a week, managing the entire household, and caring for their four children — 10F, 8M, 5M, and 3F — while pregnant, her sister's husband contributed nothing.

A pregnant woman circling her baby bump | Source: Pexels

A pregnant woman circling her baby bump | Source: Pexels

The woman found it astonishing that her sister woke up at 4 a.m., handled breakfast and chores, and got the kids ready for school, all while her husband stayed home, worked, and indulged in video games after she picked the children up. Notably, the woman mentioned that her sister actually earned more than her husband.

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A little boy standing beside his mom in the kitchen | Source: Pexels

A little boy standing beside his mom in the kitchen | Source: Pexels

While their home was being renovated, the woman and her fiancé, 26, had to stay at her sister's place for six weeks. Since the couple worked from home, they were able to offer assistance, and the additional support made the woman's sister feel happy and relieved.

He claimed the incident had made him the laughingstock of his family.

A woman reading a book to her daughters | Source: Shutterstock

A woman reading a book to her daughters | Source: Shutterstock

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The woman contributed by helping her sister with the kids, and her fiancé even drove her to doctor's appointments. In contrast, the husband only acknowledged his parental role when his family was present, portraying himself as a god-fearing and hardworking father of five.

Despite the woman's sister desiring to stop having children after the last baby, her husband insisted on having more boys. The original poster was concerned not only for her sister but also for her children, especially as the oldest began to recognize the situation and attempted to assist. However, OP's sister, driven by pride, adamantly refused to let her child take on any responsibilities.

A scared little girl hearing her parents argue in the background | Source: Shutterstock

A scared little girl hearing her parents argue in the background | Source: Shutterstock

OP admitted that she never got along with her brother-in-law, and his behavior had persisted since the birth of his eight-year-old son. Despite attempts to discuss the option of leaving, her sister was resistant and feared that her children would grow up in a broken home.

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A happy couple with their three kids | Source: Shutterstock

A happy couple with their three kids | Source: Shutterstock

Her perspective on divorce differed from OP's, as her own experience with their parents' divorce was vastly dissimilar. She believed that her kids needed both their mom and dad together and was reluctant to consider the potential benefits of a divorce, given her situation.

The weekend before OP shared her Reddit account, her sister and brother-in-law hosted a pre-Thanksgiving potluck, where both their families were in attendance. Anticipating her brother-in-law's lack of assistance, OP had stayed with her sister a few days prior to help.

Family members gathered for Thanksgiving dinner | Source: Flickr

Family members gathered for Thanksgiving dinner | Source: Flickr

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During dinner, as the conversation flowed, OP stated how she and her fiancé were trying to start a family. At this point, her BIL made an "off-handed comment" to the woman's fiancé about the challenges of fatherhood. This remark triggered the woman, prompting her to retort, "[Like] you would know."

Startled, he inquired about her comment, and she unleashed her pent-up frustration, labeling him a pathetic excuse for a man who left her 8-month pregnant sister to handle everything for their family.

A woman hugging another woman to comfort her | Source: Shutterstock

A woman hugging another woman to comfort her | Source: Shutterstock

OP passionately expressed her sentiments for nearly ten minutes, leaving her BIL visibly uncomfortable in his seat. After that, she exited the scene. This nail-biting story continues here.

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This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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