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A man with his head in his hands | Source: Shutterstock
A man with his head in his hands | Source: Shutterstock

My Wife Became a Surrogate without My Knowledge – The Truth behind It Shattered Our Family

Wian Prinsloo
May 15, 2024
09:55 A.M.

My wife, Emily, walked up to me this morning with a big smile on her face. She dropped a huge bombshell on me that would change the course of our relationship permanently.

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"Guess what, James?" she said, her eyes sparkling.

"What is it?" I asked, curious but a little wary.

A couple in bed | Source: Unsplash

A couple in bed | Source: Unsplash

"I applied to be a surrogate mother, and I got approved!" she announced, looking excited.

I stared at her, my mind racing. We had been married for two years, together for seven. We had two kids of our own, Jack and Lily, and we’d been trying for a third. Emily was a stay-at-home mom, and I provided for the family. This decision of hers felt like a shock.

"You did what?" I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

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"I'm going to be a surrogate mother," she repeated, her smile faltering a bit. "I want to help another family have a baby."

"Emily, this affects all of us," I said, feeling my agitation rise. "We've been trying for our own baby. How is this going to work?"

"I know it's a big decision," she said, looking down. "But it's a selfless act. I can help a family that can't have children."

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

"But at what cost?" I asked, feeling frustrated. "What about our family? Our marriage? Your health? This is going to be hard on all of us."

"I've thought about it a lot, James," she said, her voice soft. "I believe it's the right thing to do."

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I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Emily, your body will go through so much. And what about your mental and emotional health? Have you thought about how this will affect you?"

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

A couple fighting | Source: Pexels

"I have," she said, looking determined. "I know it will be challenging, but I think I can handle it."

I shook my head. "Emily, I can't stop working to take care of you when you're pregnant, especially if it's not our baby. This is a huge responsibility."

"I'll be fine," she said, her voice firm. "I want to do this."

A couple talking | Source: Pexels

A couple talking | Source: Pexels

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I looked at her, feeling a mix of emotions. "Emily, I get that you want to help another family. I really do. But I'm worried about us, about our kids."

"I understand your concerns, James," she said, reaching out to touch my arm. "But this is important to me. I feel like it's something I need to do."

I sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. "We need to talk more about this. It's not just your decision. It's about all of us."

"I know," she said, nodding. "We'll figure it out together."

A couple holding each other | Source: Pexels

A couple holding each other | Source: Pexels

I walked into the living room, where Jack and Lily were playing with their toys. They looked up at me with innocent eyes, unaware of the conversation Emily and I had just had.

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"Daddy, look at my castle!" Jack said, holding up his toy blocks.

"That's great, buddy," I said, trying to smile.

"Mommy, can we go to the park today?" Lily asked, looking at Emily.

"Maybe later, sweetie," Emily said, glancing at me.

A kid playing with clay | Source: Pexels

A kid playing with clay | Source: Pexels

I sat down on the couch, feeling overwhelmed. How were we going to navigate this? Emily's decision had thrown everything into chaos. I needed to find a way to support her, but also protect our family.

Emily sat down next to me, her hand resting on my knee. "James, I love you. We'll get through this."

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A supportive couple | Source: Unsplash

A supportive couple | Source: Unsplash

"I love you too," I said, squeezing her hand. "But we need to really think about this. It's a big deal."

"I know," she said, leaning her head on my shoulder. "Let's take it one step at a time."

Emily and I talked about her decision to be a surrogate often. I was still a bit upset, but I wanted to support her. I decided to stand by her, even though it was hard.

A supportive couple | Source: Unsplash

A supportive couple | Source: Unsplash

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"James, thank you for understanding," Emily said one evening.

"I love you, Emily," I replied. "We'll get through this together."

A few weeks later, Emily had a doctor's appointment. I offered to drive her before heading to work.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want to make you late."

Doctor talking to her patient | Source: Unsplash

Doctor talking to her patient | Source: Unsplash

"It's fine," I said. "I want to be there for you."

We arrived at the clinic. Emily gave me a quick kiss before going inside.

"Good luck," I said. "I'll wait for you here."

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She smiled. "Thanks, James."

A hand with a house key | Source: Unsplash

A hand with a house key | Source: Unsplash

After she went inside, I realized she had forgotten her keys. I grabbed them and hurried in to give them to her. As I walked down the hallway, I saw someone familiar standing there. It was Emily's ex, Tom.

"Tom?" I said, shocked. "What are you doing here?"

Tom looked uncomfortable. "Uh, hey James."

A couple fighting | Source: Unsplash

A couple fighting | Source: Unsplash

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Emily saw us and came over, looking nervous.

"James, I can explain," she said quickly.

"Explain what?" I asked, my heart pounding.

"Tom and his wife needed a surrogate," Emily said, looking at the floor. "I volunteered."

I stared at her in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"

A couple arguing | Source: Unsplash

A couple arguing | Source: Unsplash

"I... I didn't know how," she admitted. "I always wanted a child with Tom. I still love him."

The words hit me like a punch in the gut. I felt my world crumble.

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"So this is why you decided to be a surrogate?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Yes," she whispered. "I'm sorry, James."

A man crying | Source: Unsplash

A man crying | Source: Unsplash

I couldn't stand there any longer. I turned and walked out, my mind racing. I felt betrayed and heartbroken. The woman I loved had chosen her ex over our family.

Back at home, I packed a bag and took our kids, Jack and Lily, to my parents' house.

"What's going on, Dad?" Jack asked, sensing something was wrong.

"It's going to be okay, buddy," I said, trying to sound calm. "We're just visiting Grandma and Grandpa for a while."

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A man walking with his son | Source: Unsplash

A man walking with his son | Source: Unsplash

Over the next few weeks, Emily and I talked about what happened. She decided to get back together with Tom. She didn’t fight for custody of our kids.

"I want what's best for Jack and Lily," she said. "They need stability."

I was granted full custody. It was a bittersweet victory.

"Thank you for understanding," Emily said softly.

"I just want our kids to be happy," I replied.

A dad reading to his kids | Source: Unsplash

A dad reading to his kids | Source: Unsplash

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With the support of my parents and friends, I started to rebuild my life. I focused on Jack and Lily, making sure they felt loved and secure.

One evening, as we sat around the dinner table, Lily looked up at me.

"Daddy, are we going to be okay?" she asked.

"Yes, sweetheart," I said, smiling. "We're going to be just fine."

I found a new sense of purpose in being there for my kids. We moved to a new house, closer to my work, and slowly, life began to feel normal again.

A dad with his daughter | Source: Unsplash

A dad with his daughter | Source: Unsplash

One day, as I watched Jack and Lily play in the yard, I felt a sense of peace. The pain of Emily’s betrayal was still there, but it was less sharp. I had a fresh start, and I was determined to make the most of it.

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Emily and I remained civil for the sake of the kids. She visited them occasionally, but our lives had moved in different directions.

"Dad, can we have ice cream?" Jack asked, running up to me.

"Sure, buddy," I said, smiling. "Let's go get some."

A little girl with ice cream | Source: Unsplash

A little girl with ice cream | Source: Unsplash

As we walked to the ice cream shop, hand in hand, I realized that despite everything, I had found happiness again. My kids and I were building a new life together, one step at a time.

Did I do the right thing?

Click here to read another story about a grandparent who got a huge shock when she went to pick up her granddaughter from daycare.

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