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A man and a woman sharing cake | Source: Flickr.com
A man and a woman sharing cake | Source: Flickr.com

My Husband Skipped Our Baby's Gender Reveal Appointment – It Was the Last Straw and He Deserved a Lesson

Vanessa Seifert
May 21, 2024
09:53 A.M.

I had always imagined that during my pregnancy, my husband would be by my side, sharing each milestone with excitement and care. But reality painted a different picture, as he repeatedly chose his friends and hobbies over our prenatal appointments. One day, my patience wore thin, and I came up with a plan to teach him a lesson.

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When I found out I was pregnant, it felt like a dream. My husband and I had been looking forward to this for so long, and now it was finally happening. We were going to have our first baby!

A pregnant woman holding an ultrasound | Source: Shutterstock

A pregnant woman holding an ultrasound | Source: Shutterstock

I still remember how we found out we were pregnant on a short weekend trip we had taken. It felt like the perfect ending to a romantic getaway. We were about to become parents and we knew there was so much we needed to plan, but since it was something we really wanted, it was a challenge we were excited to take on as a team.

A woman holding a pregnancy test | Source: Shutterstock

A woman holding a pregnancy test | Source: Shutterstock

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I was really excited for every step of this journey, even the morning sickness. The simple thought of having my husband’s support was all I needed to know we were going to be fine. But what I imagined was not what my husband had in mind.

A woman up at night | Source: Shutterstock

A woman up at night | Source: Shutterstock

He thought he could just watch me go through the pregnancy and do nothing to help. In the first trimester, I had nights where I didn't sleep at all. Some days it felt easier to just lay next to the toilet than to go back to bed. But my husband would be snoring in the room and could not even hand me a cup of water.

I felt so angry and sad. It felt like he thought me carrying the baby was a job that I needed to do all by myself. If I am already doing the job of being pregnant, the least he could do was rub my feet, or help when I am dealing with the worst nausea. I mean the child is not only his when it's born.

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A man sleeping | Source: Pexels

A man sleeping | Source: Pexels

So all that excitement turned into arguments that dimmed my joy a bit. I thought we would at least get to go to doctor appointments together but my husband barely attended any with me, and his excuses felt flimsy at best. Whether it was soccer, drinks, or a board game with friends, he always found something that, in his eyes, was more pressing. Whenever I brought it up, he'd just shrug and say, "I'm not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the doctor with you?"

A woman feeling sick | Source: Pexels

A woman feeling sick | Source: Pexels

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Last week, I hit my breaking point. We had planned to go together to find out our baby's gender, a moment I believed was crucial for both of us to share. But at the last minute, he bailed on me for a fish 'n' chips meal with a friend. I was livid, but I swallowed my anger. My mom accompanied me instead, and together we shared the beautiful moment of discovering we were expecting a girl.

A woman holding a thermometer | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a thermometer | Source: Pexels

I wanted to make my husband realize what he was missing, so I came up with a plan for our gender reveal party. I contacted a talented baker and asked for a cake that looked typical on the outside, with question marks and all, but with a twist on the inside.

A woman at getting an ultra-sound | Source: Shutterstock

A woman at getting an ultra-sound | Source: Shutterstock

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At the party where we were surrounded by friends and family, I handed my husband the knife to cut the cake. As he sliced through, out tumbled miniature, edible fish 'n' chips which he thought was a more important meal to have than find out the gender of our baby. The room burst into laughter, and though he was visibly embarrassed, the point was made clear in a lighthearted way. I used that moment to express how crucial it is for us to support each other, especially now.

A man eating a burger | Source: Shutterstock

A man eating a burger | Source: Shutterstock

After the initial surprise and amusement, I revealed the second cake, this one hiding the true secret of our baby's gender. It was a smaller cake, elegantly decorated with pastel hues and baby footprints. My husband and I cut it and it revealed a soft pink color. “ It's a girl!” shouted everyone in the room.

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A couple holding a boy and girl balloon | Source: Shutterstock

A couple holding a boy and girl balloon | Source: Shutterstock

The atmosphere was filled with joy and celebration as our family and friends congratulated us. My husband learned his lesson and now understood the importance of his participation in our journey. He looked at me with eyes that showed how sorry he was and followed up with a tight hug.

A woman cutting a cake | Source: Pexels

A woman cutting a cake | Source: Pexels

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From that day forward, my husband never missed another appointment, and the story of the fish 'n' chips cake became a legendary reminder in our family of the importance of support and presence.

A couple hugging | Source: Pexels

A couple hugging | Source: Pexels

I am happy that we are still able to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. The next thing on the list is putting together the nursery which my husband has been very excited about. He’s shown me a few furniture pieces that he wants to build himself and he’s already excited to hold the baby on the new rocking chair we just ordered.

Here is another interesting story about a woman who found out her husband's best friend was naming her first child after him and this is how she decided to handle the situation.

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I know the controversy of your husband having a female best friend. My friends have had a few very strong opinions about it, but I am actually pretty fine with the dynamic between my husband John, and his best friend Jane.

A woman smiling | Source: Shutterstock

A woman smiling | Source: Shutterstock

I've been married to my husband for seven years, and he and Jane have been friends for ten years. I have no problem with Jane, she's nice and over the years she and I have developed a personal relationship.

A couple cooking together | Source: Shutterstock

A couple cooking together | Source: Shutterstock

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Sometimes we chat alone, but she's definitely closer to my husband. I know this might seem like I am contradicting myself, but from the start, I felt Jane had a crush on my husband.

A couple looking at a photo album | Source: Shutterstock

A couple looking at a photo album | Source: Shutterstock

I actually believe that she wished she had experienced some kind of connection with John before she met her own husband. This feeling came from looking at old photos and hearing stories from friends.

A woman looking suspicious | Source: Shutterstock

A woman looking suspicious | Source: Shutterstock

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Though Jane is married and seems happy, there have been moments that felt off to me. She has been overly affectionate with my husband at times, like sitting on his lap in photos or writing gushy posts on his Facebook wall for his birthday.

A woman looking shocked while on the phone | Source: Shutterstock

A woman looking shocked while on the phone | Source: Shutterstock

These things never seemed flirty enough to worry about, and since she appeared happy in her marriage, I never mentioned it.

But it did not mean I did not keep a mental note of everything and I continued keeping an eye on how Jane acted around my husband. It was like an undercurrent in our friendship, something not talked about but always there.

Two women talking in the kitchen | Source: Shutterstock

Two women talking in the kitchen | Source: Shutterstock

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Months ago, Jane's life took a joyful turn as she announced her pregnancy and immediately appointed my husband as the godfather. My husband enthusiastically accepted the role and while I supported him, inwardly, I couldn't help but think, "Of course she did."

A pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

A pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

As her pregnancy progressed, Jane's behavior began to take a very weird turn. She insisted on having my husband accompany her and her husband for baby shopping, not once but multiple times.

Women at a baby shower | Source: Shutterstock

Women at a baby shower | Source: Shutterstock

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It was particularly bizarre when she expressed wanting us to be the first to meet the baby, but it was obvious to me that she mainly wanted my husband there. While I appreciated her involving me, her gesture of including me felt hollow and was overshadowed by her evident focus on my husband.

A pregnant woman with baby clothes | Source: Shutterstock

A pregnant woman with baby clothes | Source: Shutterstock

The situation intensified when Jane decided to name her baby after my husband. She went as far as posting the announcement on Facebook and packaged it as a tribute to "my dearest and best friend John." This struck me as bizarre, and when I voiced my discomfort to my husband, he saw it merely as a flattering gesture.

Two women arguing | Source: Shutterstock

Two women arguing | Source: Shutterstock

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During the gender reveal party, the underlying tension erupted. When Jane, in front of everyone, acted as though my husband was the baby's father, I couldn't contain my confusion and frustration

"Oh, so he DIDN’T tell you?! He’ll be the godfather." she exclaimed, revealing more than intended.

"Yes, I know that. Why the hell are you pretending he's the real dad? You have your husband. Or do you still want to see what it would be like if Will was your husband?" I said.

Then she slipped and said, "YES!!! I mean... of course not!!" she betrayed her true feelings, but she confirmed my suspicions.

A couple arguing in the car | Source: Shutterstock

A couple arguing in the car | Source: Shutterstock

That moment crystallized everything. I grabbed my purse, and left the party, and my husband followed. I tried to explain why that triggered me but while he understood, he never confronted Jane for crossing the line.

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I thought I was done with Jane's weird behavior at the gender reveal party. But she took it even further at the baby shower. The mother-to-be had a small and COVID-friendly event.

Baby shower decor | Source: Shutterstock

Baby shower decor | Source: Shutterstock

I do not know if she was doing it on purpose but my patience was constantly tested. Throughout the celebration, Jane repeatedly referred to my husband as the "Godfather-to-be," which irritated me each time she said it. The build-up of the strange behavior over the past months was becoming too much for me to bear.

As the party was winding down, Jane asked me to take a photo of her and her husband. After that, she suggested taking another picture, this time including "both the fathers to be." Unable to hold back my frustration, I exclaimed loudly, "Oh, come on! Are you serious?" My reaction caught the attention of everyone in the room and left Jane looking completely shocked.

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Two women having a heated conversation | Source: Shutterstock

Two women having a heated conversation | Source: Shutterstock

Without another word, I left the party and again my husband followed. This time the car ride home was filled with silence. My husband, deep in thought, didn’t say a word until we reached home. That's when he finally acknowledged the inappropriateness of Jane's behavior and expressed regret for not seeing it sooner. However, he was still mad at me for causing a scene and ruining Jane's baby shower.

A couple fighting in the car | Source: Shutterstock

A couple fighting in the car | Source: Shutterstock

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Jane was furious with me as well, telling me she never wanted to see me again. My husband worried that my actions had not only harmed his friendship with Jane but also threatened to create a rift within his broader circle of friends.

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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