The Rise of Grandma Showers: A Sweet Milestone or a Spotlight Steal?

You may have noticed a new kind of party popping up on your social media feed lately called the "grandma shower." While it’s a sweet way to celebrate a major life milestone, this budding trend is sparking a heated debate over whether it’s a helpful tradition or just a spotlight-stealing gift grab.

If you’ve been spending any time on parenting TikTok or Reddit lately, you might have stumbled across a debate that’s ruffling more than a few feathers: the "grandma shower."

Just like a traditional baby shower, these parties celebrate an impending arrival, but with one big twist—the guest of honor is the grandma-to-be, not the parents.

While some see it as a beautiful way to mark a major life milestone, others are calling it a "gift grab" that takes the focus away from the people actually doing the hard work of having a baby.

Why the Trend is Growing

So, why are these parties suddenly a thing? For many, it’s about practicality.

According to Amy Goyer (GH), family and caregiving expert for the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), an increasing number of grandparents are taking on significant childcare roles, with U.S. Census data showing that about 33% of grandparents living with their grandkids are responsible for their care.

With the rising cost of baby gear—some experts predict a 30% price hike due to new tariffs—having a safe crib or car seat at Grandma’s house is a huge help.

Others note that these showers can be a way for long-distance relatives to celebrate and gather gifts to send to the parents. Plus, it’s a chance for wise, supportive grandmas to share advice and welcome a friend into the "Grandma Club."

The "Spotlight" Debate

Despite the practical perks, the trend has its fair share of critics. The main concern is that it shifts the spotlight away from the expectant parents during a time when they need the most support.

A baby shower is traditionally meant to help parents transition into a life-changing role. Unlike the expectant parents, grandmothers aren't the ones navigating the physical recovery of childbirth or the steep learning curve of breastfeeding; they’ve already navigated these life-altering transitions with their own children.

Online, the feedback can be even harsher. There are snarky comments from Reddit like, “Your generation is so entitled and spoiled,” and “Granny had her moment in the sun.” Some parents feel that a grandma shower, complete with games and registries, feels like an unnecessary demand for attention.

How to Do It Right

If you’re thinking about a grandma shower, etiquette is everything. But there is one golden rule: Always clear it with the parents-to-be first. If they aren’t on board, skip it.

Here are a few other tips for keeping it classy:

Don’t double-dip: Don’t invite the same people to both the baby shower and the grandma shower

Keep it low-key: A casual lunch or a "sprinkle" is often better received than a full-blown event.

Focus on wisdom, not just stuff: Instead of a registry, have guests bring a favorite children's book or write down a piece of advice.

At the end of the day, a grandma shower should be rooted in support. A grandmother truly shines when she acknowledges that the new mother’s needs come first, solidifying her role as a pillar of strength for the growing family.

When done with respect and a light touch, it can be a lovely way to celebrate the joyous occasion of becoming a grandparent.