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A man performing stand up comedy | Source: AmoMama
A man performing stand up comedy | Source: AmoMama

I Went to My Husband's Performance, but When I Heard What He Was Saying about Me on Stage, I Decided to Teach Him a Lesson

Caitlin Farley
Jun 13, 2024
09:10 A.M.

Helen is devastated when she sneaks into one of her husband's stand-up performances and realizes all his jokes are cruel jibes about her! She then plots a bold plan to teach him a lesson in front of the entire community.

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Moving to this small town was supposed to be a fresh start. My husband, Aaron, and I were looking for a slower pace, a place where we could reconnect while I struggled to come to terms with my infertility.

But things didn't go as planned.

A small town | Source: Pexels

A small town | Source: Pexels

Aaron, with his natural charisma and quick wit, quickly became the life of the party. He started doing stand-up at the local pub's open mic nights, and everyone loved him.

But I struggled to make new friends. The tight-knit community wasn't as welcoming to outsiders, especially ones who didn't have Aaron's charm.

Every Thursday, Aaron would head to the pub for his performances.

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"I think I'll join you at the pub tonight," I said one evening while chopping vegetables for dinner.

"You can't, Helen," he replied, not looking up from his phone.

A man drinking coffee and using his phone | Source: Pexels

A man drinking coffee and using his phone | Source: Pexels

"I get too nervous performing in front of you," he continued. "It's not that I don't want you there, I just... can't do it."

It stung a bit, but I let it go. Week after week, the same excuse. My suspicions grew, and curiosity got the better of me. I needed to see for myself what was going on at these open mic nights.

One Thursday night, after Aaron left for the pub, I followed him. I waited about fifteen minutes before slipping out the door, my heart pounding in my chest.

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A woman peering around the edge of a door | Source: Pexels

A woman peering around the edge of a door | Source: Pexels

The pub was buzzing when I arrived. I slipped into the back, trying to blend in with the shadows.

I spotted Aaron on stage, a spotlight illuminating his face. He looked so at ease, so different from the man I saw at home.

"And you know," Aaron was saying, a smirk on his lips, "my wife can't have kids. That's the only reason I married her. This way, I never have to pay for child support!"

The crowd erupted in laughter, but I felt like I'd been punched in the gut.

A shocked woman | Source: Pexels

A shocked woman | Source: Pexels

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Aaron knew how badly I wanted kids, and how it had destroyed me to find out we couldn't start a family. And here he was, making jokes about my deepest pain.

"But seriously," he continued, "she wants to sterilize our dog. She must be jealous!"

I couldn't listen anymore. I turned and fled the pub, the laughter of the audience ringing in my ears. When I got home, I collapsed on the couch, sobbing uncontrollably.

I thought about leaving him, but then another idea took hold. Instead of running away. I was going to teach him a lesson he'd never forget.

Close up of a woman's eyes | Source: Pexels

Close up of a woman's eyes | Source: Pexels

I spent the next few days in a fog, alternating between tears and anger. Aaron didn't even notice, which only made me angrier. I had to show him that his words had consequences.

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I snuck into the pub every Thursday and jotted down all the nasty jokes Aaron told about me in a notebook. I also started hanging around the pub more often on other days, casually getting to know Aaron's 'bros.'

Once, after Aaron excused himself to use the restroom, I told them I had something urgent to discuss with them.

Friends having fun in a pub | Source: Pexels

Friends having fun in a pub | Source: Pexels

"Aaron's birthday is coming up and I want to surprise him," I said. "Will you guys help me?"

They all eagerly agreed, never realizing this was all part of my plan.

Finally, the night of the party arrived. The pub was packed, a testament to Aaron's popularity. Everyone was there, including the wives, who were eager to see what all the fuss was about.

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Aaron walked in, greeted by cheers and pats on the back. His face lit up with surprise and confusion, but he quickly settled into the role of the celebrated hero.

Happy man | Source: Pexels

Happy man | Source: Pexels

I watched him from the sidelines, my heart pounding. This was it! I took a deep breath and walked up to the stage, grabbing the microphone.

"Hello, everyone," I began, my voice steady. "Thank you for coming out to celebrate Aaron tonight. But I have a little confession to make. It's not actually his birthday."

The room fell silent, curious eyes fixed on me.

Aaron laughed nervously. "Helen, what's going on?"

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"I wanted to use this opportunity to share something with all of you," I continued, pulling out my notebook.

Woman speaking into a microphone | Source: Pexels

Woman speaking into a microphone | Source: Pexels

"Aaron has been sharing a lot about our personal life during his performances," I said. "Since I'm generally the object of these jokes, I wanted to highlight the ones that really struck a chord with me."

Aaron's smile faded, replaced with a look of dread.

"When my wife first found out she couldn't have kids, she was devastated. Then she got a purse-sized dog and and now she pushes it around in a stroller, dresses it in baby clothes, and calls it 'our fur baby.' So I guess I'm a dad anyway," I quoted through clenched teeth.

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I continued reading aloud, each joke cutting through the room like a knife. The laughter from Aaron's previous performances echoed in my ears, replaced now by shocked gasps and murmurs.

"My wife can't have kids, that's the only reason I married her. This way, I never have to pay for child support!" Tears flowed freely down my face by the time I recited the final 'joke.'

A woman crying | Source: Pexels

A woman crying | Source: Pexels

Aaron stood there, stunned and speechless, as I closed my notebook. The room buzzed with a mixture of shock and discomfort. I could feel the weight of a hundred eyes on us, but I wasn't done yet.

I turned to the crowd, my voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside me.

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"I want you all to know how much these jokes hurt me," I said, my voice quivering slightly. "Aaron didn't just make fun of me. He exposed my deepest pain, something incredibly personal, and he turned it into a cheap laugh. And boy, did you all laugh!"

A woman pointing her finger | Source: Pexels

A woman pointing her finger | Source: Pexels

Aaron stepped forward, trying to grab the microphone from my hand. "Helen, this isn't fair. You're blowing this out of proportion."

I pulled the mic away, glaring at him. "Not fair? You think this is about fairness? You humiliated me in front of these people, Aaron. Your words have consequences. Maybe now you'll think twice before making a joke out of someone else's pain."

The tension in the room was palpable. I could see some of Aaron's friends shifting uncomfortably, while their wives looked at me with a mix of sympathy and concern.

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A woman giving an angry stare | Source: Pexels

A woman giving an angry stare | Source: Pexels

"Look, everyone," Aaron began, trying to salvage the situation. "I didn't mean any harm. It was all in good fun."

"Good fun?" I repeated, incredulous. "You think making fun of my inability to have children is good fun? You think mocking me in front of a crowd of strangers is just a joke?"

His face fell, and for the first time, I saw a flicker of guilt in his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out.

One wife, Lisa, stepped forward, a furious glint in her eye.

People in a pub | Source: Pexels

People in a pub | Source: Pexels

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"Aaron, you can't just brush this off as a joke. And you…" she turned to her husband, Dave. "You laughed at this?"

Others in the crowd began to murmur in agreement, while a few of Aaron's friends looked away, clearly uncomfortable with the turn of events.

"I never realized..." Aaron started, his voice barely a whisper. "I never thought about how it would make you feel."

"Exactly," I said, my voice softer now but still firm. "You never thought about me. You were too busy enjoying the laughs to see the damage you were causing."

A man looking guilty | Source: Pexels

A man looking guilty | Source: Pexels

Aaron looked around, seeing the disappointment and disapproval in the eyes of his friends and the community he had so easily won over.

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"Maybe," I continued, addressing the audience, "maybe this town isn't as welcoming as I thought. But tonight, I hope you all see that humor should never come at the expense of someone else's pain."

The crowd parted as I walked toward the exit, some reaching out to touch my arm, offering silent support. Others simply stared, unsure of what to say or do.

As I reached the door, Aaron called out to me. "Helen, wait."

Woman standing in a doorway | Source: Pexels

Woman standing in a doorway | Source: Pexels

I turned to look at him, my heart heavy. "What, Aaron?"

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice breaking. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was stupid and thoughtless, and I can see that now."

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I sighed, feeling the weight of his apology.

"It's going to take more than an apology to fix this, Aaron. You need to understand the impact of your words and actions. Until then, I don't know what our future holds."

I left the pub, feeling a strange sense of liberation.

A man looking downcast | Source: Pexels

A man looking downcast | Source: Pexels

In the following days, some people in the community were sympathetic, but others, mostly Aaron's closest friends, thought I had overreacted. Despite the backlash, I began building friendships.

Aaron eventually understood the depth of his mistakes. He apologized, not just with words, but with actions, showing a genuine desire to change and be a better person.

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This small town, with all its flaws and complexities, became a place where I could rebuild and find my voice. And in that journey, I discovered a strength I never knew I had.

Friends in a restaurant | Source: Pexels

Friends in a restaurant | Source: Pexels

Click here to read about a woman who discovered her husband behaving strangely after she set up a camera in her bedroom. You'll never guess what he was up to!

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided "as is," and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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