Caring Father Makes Daughter Miss Homecoming, Senior Prom & Delete All Her Social Media as Punishment
When my wife and I discovered the horrible thing our daughter did at school, we agreed on her punishment: no prom, no homecoming, no social media, and no new car. But soon, I was told it was too harsh. Can you help us figure out if we did the right thing?
As a parent, there are several calls you never want to receive regarding your kids. One is from a hospital, two is from jail, and I think the third is from school. At least, not in a serious tone.
A man using his computer while on the phone | Source: Gemini
You see, my wife, Savannah, and I have three kids, Anthony, Emma, and Sam and we've always tried to raise them to be kind, respectful, and decent human beings.
But yesterday, I learned something about my youngest, Sam, that made me question if I've been doing my job as a parent right.
I was working from home when the phone rang. It was her school. They wanted Savannah and me to come in for an "urgent meeting" the following day.
A woman in a school office using the phone | Source: Gemini
The secretary wouldn't give me any details over the phone. All she said was, "It's quite serious and concerns your daughter."
Let me tell you, my stomach sank. If this was good news, like an award, she wouldn't have used that tone.
Later that night, I asked Sam what was going on, but she mumbled something about homework and didn't make eye contact. That was my first red flag.
A teenager looking upset | Source: Gemini
The next morning, Savannah and I showed up at the school's office, not knowing what to expect. We were ushered into the principal's office, and the atmosphere was tense, to say the least. Again, Sam didn't want to look at us.
Luckily, the principal got straight to the point: Sam had been involved in a "serious incident" of bullying. At first, we were outraged. Our daughter getting bullied? I wanted names! But alas… I had misunderstood.
She was the bully, and it wasn't a simple issue of bad words or mocking. Sam and her group of friends had targeted a girl to the point where she was now being homeschooled along with getting intensive therapy.
A girl laughing in school | Source: Gemini
I don't want to repeat the details, but this bullying was racially charged.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't look at my daughter then, so I closed my eyes and shook my head. Savannah squeezed my hand to keep me grounded, and finally, I opened my eyes and looked at Sam.
I needed to hear her side, so I asked her directly, "Is this true?"
At first, she rolled her eyes and muttered, "It wasn't exactly like that. She made it a bigger deal-"
A school girl looking angry in an office | Source: Gemini
One look from me had her mouth shutting. Her mother pressed her for the truth, and Sam finally conceded.
We exited that meeting assuring the principal that we would handle it, but in terms of the school, Sam and her friends were getting a one-week suspension and then, detention for the rest of the year.
I thought that was more than fair of them. But obviously, that wasn't enough given the situation.
A couple sitting in an office talking to an older man | Source: Gemini
The ride home was silent. Savannah and I exchanged a few looks, but we didn't say a word. Our daughter slumped in the backseat with her arms crossed like a petulant child, not the 17-year-old almost adult she was.
The energy I felt radiating off her was even more angering. She was our youngest child, and the last out of the house. Although we'd taught her the same values as her big brother and sister, we may have also spoiled her a bit.
I didn't know what we should do about her punishment from us. But when we arrived home and went in, I heard Sam whistling as she went to the kitchen and grabbed a soda can from the fridge.
A teenager drinking a soda | Source: Gemini
She was... so carefree all of a sudden. Gone was her petulance, but this was worse. Did she take our silence for acceptance?
"Samantha Arlene!" I yelled her full name, which I never used. Savannah was shocked, but she followed my lead and stood by my side.
Sam choked on her soda before saying, "Don't call me that!"
"Samantha!" my wife scolded. "Come here right now!" Then, Savannah looked at me and nodded. She knew I had come to a decision and was encouraging me.
A couple looking upset | Source: Gemini
"You think your punishment from school is all?" I asked and didn't wait for a reply. "You'll be facing consequences here, too. From now on, no social media, no homecoming, no cheerleading practice, and no prom."
Savannah's eyes widened, but she nodded. "Also, the car you wanted for your birthday. Forget about it!" she added.
Sam dropped her soda can, spilling everything on our clean floor. "THAT'S NOT FAIR! Those are the most important milestones of high school! You can't take that away!"
A girl angry in a kitchen | Source: Gemini
"Samantha, you took those milestones from another girl," I said, pointing my finger at her in accusation. "Show me your phone while you delete your Instagram, Snappy Chatty, TikTakkie, and whatever other stuff you have."
"NO!" my daughter wailed.
"It's either that or your phone gets confiscated for good," Savannah threatened, but her voice remained calm.
"FINE!" Sam said petulantly and threw her phone on the living room sofa while storming off. The sound of her door shutting made Savannah and I jump.
A phone on a couch | Source: Gemini
"This is going to be harder than I thought," my wife said, and I nodded. But it got even worse.
My parents, Jackson and Georgia, called me that night and asked for a place to stay for a couple of weeks. Black mold was discovered at their home, and it was so bad they needed to tent and live somewhere else.
It wasn't an ideal time, but I didn't have a choice.
Unfortunately, they're the kind of grandparents who would let their grandchildren get away with anything. Also, my dad has always been relaxed about everything.
Two grandparents at the door | Source: Gemini
We told them everything that happened at school, and although they were upset and talked to Sam about how wrong she'd been, I knew they'd soon start asking me to be more lenient.
The second night they were here, Sam sat at the table, pushing her food around with her fork, looking miserable. Dad noticed, of course.
He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Come on, Caleb, lighten up a bit! Kids will be kids. Don't you remember all the stupid stuff you did at that age? She can't miss the prom."
A grandpa smiling on a sofa | Source: Gemini
My lips were tight while I responded discreetly. "Dad, this isn't about sneaking out to a party. What she did was hurtful and unacceptable. Even worse, it was bigoted. Spoiled. She needs to learn."
He nodded, unhappy, and I knew he would keep nagging me.
One night, after we had finished dinner and Sam left the table looking more miserable than before, Dad spoke to me again.
"You're being too hard, son. Sam's a good girl. We all make mistakes," he said, pouting.
A grandpa looking worried | Source: Gemini
I glanced at my mom, hoping for backup, but even she looked concerned. "Darling," she said gently, "don't you think this is a bit extreme? Your dad's right. Sam's a good girl at heart. You can find another punishment that doesn't hurt her so much."
I didn't know what to do. Savannah had my back, of course, and she'd let me take the lead before. But it was time to ask for guidance. Later that night, while in bed, I explained my doubts.
"Maybe they're right," I said, sighing. "Maybe I'm overreacting. I just don't want her to think she can get away with hurting others. With being a person who judges people based on their skin, identity, or orientation. I mean, she's younger than us!"
A couple talking in bed | Source: Gemini
"I know what you mean. I thought all kids were growing up better in this generation, but maybe, hate has a way of keeping up," my wife held my hand.
"What should we do?" I asked, defeated.
"I think we should find a way for her to redeem herself. Slowly. Let her show us that she has learned her lesson," Savannah suggested. "If we see a real change, we can start to concede to some things."
It was a fantastic idea and my sour mood lifted slightly. We came up with a decision that night, and I slept better than I had in days.
A couple sleeping | Source: Gemini
The next afternoon, we presented Sam with the idea.
"We want you to write an apology letter to the girl you bullied. We will try to schedule a meeting with her and her mother, but it might not be possible. Either way, we'll read this letter and decide if you've learned your lesson," Savannah explained.
Sam didn't look excited. "What's the point of that?"
"Samantha," I cautioned.
A amn with arms crossed in a teenager's bedroom | Source: Gemini
"The point is to show us you've learned. We won't make any promises," my wife continued. "But a punishment is meant for you to understand what you did was wrong. If this is not working, we'll have to think of something else."
Sam didn't say much, but she nodded after a few seconds. Then, my wife sat on our daughter's bed and did something I wasn't expecting.
Savannah touched Sam's knee. "Sam," she started gently, "I know what it's like to be on the other side of bullying."
A woman looking sad | Source: Gemini
Our daughter's eyes widened for a second before she schooled her expression.
My wife continued, and I could see how hard it was to share this. "When I was your age, a group of girls decided I didn't fit in. They started rumors that made my life miserable. I felt so alone… like I had nowhere to turn, and it almost destroyed me for good."
She quieted and stared at my daughter intently, willing her to understand her feelings. Sam's eyes watered.
Savannah nodded and sniffled as she went on. "It took me years to get over the pain. Some days, I'm not sure I did."
A woman wiping her tears | Source: Gemini
"I didn't mean to hurt her like that," Sam finally said, swallowing. "I thought it was nothing. The others were doing it, too."
Savannah took her hand gently. "I know, honey. But you have to understand how words can impact people. And I don't care what others did. I care about you."
My daughter nodded and started crying openly. I was choked up, too. A second later, we were all wrapped in a big hug.
After that conversation, something shifted in Sam. She was my good girl again, and I knew she started working hard on the letter almost immediately.
A teenager writing a letter | Source: Gemini
A day later, Sam came downstairs and handed us a folder of paper. "I wrote it," she said quietly. "And… I'm sorry. I think I get it now."
My parents watched intently as I unfolded the paper and began to read, with my wife looking over my shoulder. Her words were raw and remorseful, and I could tell she'd poured her heart into it.
She admitted she'd wanted to fit in with other girls. It wasn't an excuse, just a fact. But now understood how hurtful her actions had been.
A school girl worried | Source: Gemini
When I finished, I looked at her, feeling relieved. "Thank you, Sam. This is what we needed to see."
"And if you can set up a meeting," Sam offered without prompting, "I'd like to give her the letter and apologize in person."
Savannah wiped a tear away as she hugged our daughter. "Oh, baby," she said. "We'll make this right together."
I saw my mom crying from her spot on the couch, and my dad nodded before he focused back on the television.
Two grandparents on a sofa | Source: Gemini
After her suspension week, Sam went back to school, had detention in the afternoon, and came home as soon as possible. Her mood was lighter and easier.
I saw her doing homework diligently, so we returned her phone. And, the week before homecoming, we told her she was allowed to go.
Sam squealed and thanked us, although we made it clear that Prom and her car were still in question.
A teenager smiling | Source: Gemini
Her attitude has been improving day by day, and she has joined an anti-bullying group at school. So, what do you think? Should we lift her punishment fully now?
Here's another story: Thirteen years ago, I adopted my late husband's secret twin daughters after his fatal car crash revealed his double life. I gave them everything, but at sixteen, they locked me out of my home. One week later, I discovered the shocking reason for their actions.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided "as is," and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.